"Somatically, the 'well adjusted' individual has to be somewhat 'uptight' and insensitive - relatively unresponsive and rigidified.  This 'closed down' condition of reduced somatic sensitivity occurs in top athletes as much as in those who are physically challenged.  Such persons are 'out of touch' with the lifeforce that flows within them.  Chronic anxiety... instigates psychosomatic defenses in which parts of the body literally become anaesthetized. ...  Unconscious fearfulness over sexuality - for example, as a result of childhood traumatizations - often leads to tension and rigidity psychosomatically.  Inflexibility of the pelvis and spinal column, as well as thoracic tightness - that is, a 'closing down' of the structures... - are also common longterm reactions to erotic fear and inhibitions." 
                                        - Barnaby B. Barratt, Seuxal Health and Erotic Freedom


I am a somatic coach who aids men in exploring their embodied ways of living whatever your sexual orientation.  Male sexuality is more fluid than society is willing to admit. To feel sexual enjoyment (not simply excitement) is to experience the sacred energy of life itself, our life force.

There are men who sometimes feel stuck in their own skins, struggle to remain in their own skins, and/or don't know quite how to embrace themselves more fully.  We've been brought up in a sexist/heterosexist culture which leaves its marks upon us as men, stultifying our abilities to go beyond the confines of what a man "should be" to what he can be.  Unless we decide otherwise!

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."  - James Baldwin

There are men who fear penetration because they have aligned it with being feminized, or struggle with allowing themselves to have  their fantasies without guilt, or want to integrate their masculine/feminine eros but want some help in doing so, who missed out in having a mentor in their lives to guide them into self-validation, or who have been numbed by drugs for so long that they battle within themselves to embrace and express their authentic feelings and create new beliefs about who they are and want to be. 

There are other men who have experienced no rites of passage into male adulthood and want to find ways to create their own rites and be witnessed by other men moving out of the "puer eternus" (eternal youth) stage into adulthood.  There are men who see no connection between spirituality (sacredness) and their sexuality, yet know there is something more to be gained than simply following religious tenets or having as much sex as possible.

Many men find it difficult to talk about their sexual fantasies.  These fantasies may involve S/M or other forms of "kink".  To find someone to share in a safe way their desires to explore, to find answers about safety, to simply talk to another who holds no judgment can be a very shame-releasing, healing experience.

Some men who enter their 50s and 60s hold shame around their aging, their desire to be a 'bottom', their feeling adrift from the "gay community" because of their age.  They are no longer "young and acceptable."  There is life beyond 40, 50, 60, 70...and it's here and now!

Did you know that 1 out of 6 boys has been molested in childhood by their fathers, uncles, mothers, aunts, neighbors, brothers, sisters, religious authority figures?  That tremendous burden is easily carried into adulthood and played out in their lives.  They wonder who will listen and believe them.  Are they less than men because of that experience?  Are they gay or bisexual because of that sexual abuse and trauma?  The answer to these questions is an emphatic "no".  They have a right to re-claim and embody their sexuality to the fullest!

   
Some signs of a healthy erotic life:
    *  Enjoy peak erotic experiences as means to deeper self-awareness
    *  Recognize and embrace the role of emotions in what turns you on
    *  Identify childhood moments that fuel your strongest passions
    *  Acknowledge when your sexual scripts work against you
    *  Explore your commitment to needed self-affirming changes
    *  Build an interactive zone between love and lust
                                                                         -- Jack Morin's THE EROTIC MIND

You have a right to reclaim your birthright to live a fully embodied life.  I can coach you into breathing life into your body, giving yourself permission to experience your intimacy fully, to be fully embodied.  This opens doors to a new way of living...happily.